As we near the end of the holiday season, which, in the United States, runs from the end of November through the first of January, family traditions are likely fresh in your mind. Perhaps they bring up fond memories of your own childhood – not of grand experiences and expensive gifts, but simple things enjoyed with loved ones: the warm vanilla scent of sugar cookies baking in the oven, the sound of deep breaths and snow crunching beneath your boots while trudging back up the sledding hill, the cozy glow of the fire as you snuggled up to watch a movie.
Rituals and traditions build connections between generations and help instill a sense of identity, belonging and security. They are also a means of instilling family values.
A fifty-year review, according to the American Psychological Association, found that family routines and rituals are associated with children’s health, academic achievement and stronger family relationships as well as adolescents’ sense of personal identity. (Source.) Conversely, when rituals are disrupted or not observed, children may develop behavioral problems or social/academic challenges in school. Dr. Barbara H. Fiese, one of the psychologists involved in the review, says that rituals “involve symbolic communication and convey ‘this is who we are’ as a group and provide continuity in meaning across generations. Also, there is often an emotional imprint where once the act is completed, the individual may replay it in memory to recapture some of the positive experience.”
Rituals and traditions often take place around birthdays, celebrations of life, meals, reunions and extended family gatherings, holidays, and religious observances. They may include simple things such as a drop off routine, hot cocoa after outdoor winter play, pizza Fridays or taco Tuesdays, or a special handshake. Routines can become rituals when they move from simply being outcome-oriented (for example, reading a book to get your child to fall asleep) to symbolic (when reading a book before bedtime continues because of the enjoyment of it).
A celebration of traditions and culture is central to the Montessori method of parenting and education. Dr. Maria Montessori said, “The things…[the child] sees are not just remembered; they are part of his soul.” Traditions establish our time and place in history, answering the questions, “Who am I?” and “Where do I come from?” They help give a sense of direction, answering the question, “Where am I going?” If you were to observe a Montessori classroom, you might see traditions such as birthdays and celebrations of special days and the passing of seasons. There are daily rituals in the Montessori classroom as well, such as the recitation of the “wish” before meals and a classroom community song at morning circle time.
What types of rituals and traditions do you enjoy as a family? What are some rituals that you want to build with your family? What are some rituals that you might want to stop observing? Young children enjoy sensorial experiences, and so you may consider the following as part of future celebrations and observances:
- Crafting and making homemade objects
- Special meals using a dedicated tablecloth or place setting; reading a related story or poem together before or after the meal; going around the table and sharing a favorite memory
- Cooking and baking traditional foods
- Generosity – a tradition of sharing with others as we celebrate as a family (delivering homemade goodies to friends and neighbors, visiting a nursing home an giving residents treat bags, making and donating tie-blankets, assembling shoeboxes with gifts for children in impoverished areas of the world, shopping for a family in need and delivering it to the family or organization)
- Countdowns – children enjoy the anticipation of an event almost as much as the event itself! A countdown to favorite observances (birthdays, cultural or religious celebrations, for example) is a fun way for children to gain a sense of time and build excitement
- Trips – an annual trip around a special day is a fun tradition to incorporate; while adults may want to explore a new location every time, young children love the predictability of revisiting the same places. It feels familiar, safe and comfortable, and is usually associated with happy memories! An emotional attachment occurs to the location and the experiences shared there!
