You did the 3-day weekend kickstart. Now what? Continue on with patience and respect for your child’s unique developmental timeline. Avoid comparing them to siblings or peers! Remember, the toilet learning phase will be about a month in length, and then, on average, the journey to total independence is anywhere from 3-12 months long. During this time:
- Minimize changes to routine
- Keep in close communication with your child’s teacher about their toilet learning.
- Be consistent in your approach to toilet training when you are with your child (yes, even on your evenings and weekends). Do NOT switch them to diapers/pull ups!
- Continue to set a timer to remind you and your child that it is toilet time. Gradually extend the time, increasing by 10-15 minute increments.
- Encourage your child to let you know when they need to urinate or have a bowel movement.
- Keep outings to no more than 1 hour after starting toilet learning. Avoid long car rides during the toilet learning phase. Consider lining your car seat with puppy pads for easy clean up.
- Bring plastic or zipper seal bags to contain soiled clothing, and plenty of back up changes of clothes.
- Consider bringing a travel potty with you in the car and to friends, etc. These are portable and can be left in the back of the car.
CLOTHING AFTER THE 3 -DAY WEEKEND
You want your child to be able to independently and efficiently dress and undress. This ensures they can use the toilet whenever they need to, without relying on an adult’s assistance. You can help them maintain this independence by choosing the right clothing for them:
Pants. Choose soft, loose cotton/knit pants and shorts, that are easy for a child to take on/off independently. No buttons, snaps, zippers or tight-fitting bottoms. Have 6-8 clean pairs on hand during the initial stages of their toilet learning journey!
Socks and Shoes. At home, you can opt out of using socks and shoes, but since shoes are required at most preschools and childcare centers, you will want to have lots of extra pairs of socks available.
Washable Shoes. Slip on synthetic shoes that can be easily rinsed and dry quickly are strongly recommended.
Underwear. After several weeks of successful use of the toilet, you can introduce your child to regular toddler underwear (not training pants). This is a great time to make a special shopping trip where your child can pick out the design and colors of their choice! They will feel so proud that they are able to choose!
When the child returns to school after the 3-day weekend, Sonnet Montessori asks that parents send their child commando, meaning no underwear, but only pants. The reason for this is that having something snug fitting around their bottom can give them sensations they associate with diapers. After eliminating in diapers for (nearly) all of their life, we want to avoid anything that can trigger that muscle memory! You will want to check with your child’s daycare provider, early childhood teacher, or childcare provider about their requirements.
PARTNERSHIP WITH SCHOOL
If there is not a partnership between school and home, the toilet learning process will not go smoothly. It’s important that you communicate with your child’s teacher about 1) your child’s readiness 2) your timeline to kick start toilet learning and a three-day weekend 3) your child’s progress 4) what the classroom teachers can do to support toilet learning.
Also, understand that as teachers are responsible for the active supervision of all children in their classroom, a face-to-face update or meeting may not always be possible. If you have questions, you an always email your child’s teacher so that she can respond during quiet times of the day.
In addition to communication, please:
- Buy lots of extra bottoms and send at least 6-8 to school every day (label clothing with first and last name.)
- Send extra “inside” shoes to school, or choose inside shoes that are easily washed off and put back on after a miss.
- Send your child to school in loose fitting knit pants that are easy for your child to take on/off. Do not send your child in clothes that you are concerned about them soiling.
- Take soiled clothing home every day for laundering and replenish your school supply the next day. Please note, per Minnesota state licensing guidelines, we are not permitted to rinse out or wash soiled clothing at school.
- Be consistent with your toilet learning practices in the evenings and on your weekends. Inconsistency will cause regression, and negatively impact your child’s toilet learning at school.
WHAT ABOUT NAP & OVERNIGHT TOILET LEARNING?
Some families choose to begin nap/night learning simultaneously, some choose to begin after daytime toilet learning is mastered. Experts say that the use of a diaper at night and naptime will not cause daytime regression, however, if you notice your child is consistently dry in the morning or after nap, consider switching to having them wear underwear. If you’re concerned about bed-wetting, use a waterproof mattress pad. You can also use “puppy” pads. Last, consider limiting liquids to about an hour before bedtime and see if that helps with dry diapers. Always have your child use the toilet before nap/bedtime and waking your child for one more try before adults go to bed for the night may be useful.
HELP! MY CHILD IS NOT GETTING IT!
Some families choose to begin nap/night learning simultaneously, some choose to begin after daytime toilet learning is mastered. Experts say that the use of a diaper at night and naptime will not cause daytime regression, however, if you notice your child is consistently dry in the morning or after nap, consider switching to having them wear underwear. If you’re concerned about bed-wetting, use a waterproof mattress pad. You can also use “puppy” pads. Last, consider limiting liquids to about an hour before bedtime and see if that helps with dry diapers. Always have your child use the toilet before nap/bedtime and waking your child for one more try before adults go to bed for the night may be useful.
CONCLUSION
Thank you for joining us for this three-part blog on potty training!
May the partnership between you and your child be one characterized by respect, understanding and patience, and may you find joy in the journey! When you feel like crying or scolding, or when you find yourself wiping up one more miss (“accident”), remember to give a hug or smile instead, for, as they say, “The days are long and the years are short.” This is a season that will soon pass!
Note: Montessorians general refer to potty training as “toilet learning”. We will use the terms interchangeably on our blog, as we know that most parents are familiar with the term “potty training.”
